Vampires…. From Nosferatu to Edward, what the hell happened!


Vampires… Part of the culture going back centuries. I’m a fan, lets start off with that. I have always liked Vampires. I think in my mind they are similar to what sharks would be if they were bipedal. Lately though, lately… what the hell happened?

Nosferatu from 1922

It’s old but great for what it is. A Silent Vampire film. Nosferatu, The Vampire. Kinda more Batlike… not a charmer really. It was based on Stoker’s novel, but they didn’t have the rights to put it out that way. There were two films prior to this one. Les Vampires (1915) and Drakula (1921). Then there are several in between until… Bela Lugosi… 1931.

The Vampire Standard, Since 1931

He was also the Vampire in Mark of the Vampire in 1935, The Devil Bat 1940, Spooks run wild 1941, Return of the Vampire 1941 and Abbot and Costello meet Frankenstein 1948. This guy is who I think of when I think Vampire. There have been others, Lon Chaney Jr. and Sr, Christopher Lee did several Dracula rolls, Jack Palance even Humprey Bogart. Then it happened. The starting point… 1979, the 80’s here we come. 1979 and Love at first Bite.

Here come the 80's. Our first Vampire Spoof!

I did laugh when I saw it, but it did set the stage for some really awful movies. The Hunger, Lifeforce, Vamp, The Monster Squad, Fright Night Even the Lost Boy, great Vampires and then was made campy by the Coreys. I liked it but still what happened to Horror where did it go?

Kiefer... Played a Great Vampire

All Hail the 90’s now. What happened? They tried Remaking Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It Sucked… and that’s not a pun. Interview with a Vampire… Ug. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dracula Dead and Loving it, Vampire in Brooklyn. Plus lots of small budget flops. Don’t even get me started on From Dusk til Dawn… watched the whole thing not knowing anything about it and then BLAM! Vampires…. Really what happened they handed the script off to some 8 year old kid and said “Hey Finish this!” and the kid though, I love Vampires! Then finally we get to 1998 and “Blade” arrives on the scene. This I liked, Vampire hunter… Real Vampires no pansy, goofy, silly Vampires but the kind that rip out throats and eat Humans… because they are food!

Wesley Snipes and Stephen Dorff. Finally Vampire fights!

Now its almost 2000… We get two more Blade movies… and I kid you not “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.” More of the same silly ones and a few nice ones mixed in. Underworld seemed like I was going to LOVE it, turns out I didn’t I was expecting claws and fangs… I got machine guns instead. I really though Vampires and Werewolves fighting should have been so much better. Until recently anyway when I found something I really liked. 30 days of night.

Vampires... The way they would be in the Wild.

I Loved this… not for the actors.. for the Vampire’s. I thought they were great, well played Vampires, well played. Cut the food source off from communication, then slaughter them like the cattle they are to you. Can’t go wrong with that story right! Then, then it happened all kinds of dumb took over, Tru Blood arrived… and Twilight took over. Where did the Vampire movies go? Seriously? I hate Twilight, and Tru Blood while entertaining isn’t Vampires being Vampires its love sick idiots being stupid. Enough On that though here is what I think of Twilight.

Twilight..... the End!
Christopher Lee...

Oh Coming this summer….

It's really not a joke!

6 Comments on “Vampires…. From Nosferatu to Edward, what the hell happened!

  1. I really enjoy reading your posts… Never fails to bring on a smile and some laughter. I really wanted to make sure you knew that before I say this next thing which is :
    WTF??? ABE LINCOLN VAMP SLAYER???
    I know you claim its not a joke… but please, PLEASE, say you were actually kidding…
    {epic face-palm}
    Wth happened to screw up society so badly that the idea of such a premise would even be entertained?? Owch. My head hurts… {not sure if its from the depths of absurdity alone, or from smacking myself in the forehead whilst attempting to keep my braincells from uprising in a riotous attempt at escaping… again due to the severe absurdity of Abraham Lincoln – Vampire Hunter}
    Apparently I passionately abhor the idea of this… I almost prefer the glittery love-struck, emo-vamps.
    well, Not really!

    Like

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