Summer Time.


 So Its summer here in WHB again.  I’m a bit biased on the subject of our summer visitors.  See it’s not that they are really all bad, it’s simply that the ones who are, well they’re so bad that they are the only ones you remember.  Want some examples?  Sure I’d be happy to give you a few.  Heck let’s make them bullet points like a top ten list perhaps?why not.

Irritating summer people

Number 10.  The Driver.  This person only drives for 16 days a year, they are 40 years old and have driven less than a 17-year-old kid, and it shows. Lord help us if they get in the traffic circle. They 5 10-15 miles under the speed limit don’t use any turn signals and have no idea as to what any of the traffic signs mean.

Number 9.  The Pet owner.  They take there little yappy ankle biting flea ball everywhere it barks, growls and makes a nuisance of itself, just like its owner who constantly says “I can’t leave my child home it has to come with me”.  Teach it some manners then just like you would an actual  child. Oh wait you don’t have any manners either, my mistake. .

Number 8. The pedestrian, see this one confuses me they live in the city they should be good at this one.  Yet they stand in the middle of the road with this dopey look on their faces, maybe their thrown by the lack of taxi’s? I really don’t understand it.  Might be because people will stop for them if they are in the cross walk. It’s not only the law, it polite you dumb ass so be polite as well and MOVE.

Number 7. The door jamb.  Seriously? Get out of the doorway, it’s not a meeting area and other people need to get through, and when you get knocked into don’t act so damn surprised by it.

Number 6. The Fragrant ones, these are probably my least favorite ones, male and female alike. If you are wearing so much perfume or cologne that i can TASTE it then take your ass back to your place and SHOWER.

Number 5. The parking lot bully.  I know you only drive your car for a few hours a year and I’m sure you want it safe but stop parking in a manner that take up 3 places or I am going to hit it anyway and leave a note saying why.

Number 4. The name dropper’s I love these people because you can really mess with them. “I have to cut in line because Famous Mcfamous is coming by later”. Not only do I not care that you know whoever I’m liable to replay with something along the lines of “well I heard he was going to Rogers house because of something you said last week” 9 times out of 10 they wig out and say “who told you that” then defend themselves to me like I ever cared in the first place.

Number 3. The fighters, I love these guys, they fight with each other and say such great things like well you must be from an apt complex because obviously you’re not worth talking to.  this goes on for a while with them sniping at each other saying similarly ridiculous  things.

Number 2. The Unimportant important people, they usually start with “Do you know who my husband is”? then proceed to tell you at length.  usually my response to this is, “oh so you must be his wife Gerty”? then they go nuts cause who the hell is this Gerty woman and who do they think they are wha did they look like… brings a smile to my face.

Number 1. The Loud one, they yell, they scream they carry on and all because.. wait I don’t know why, I stopped listening 10 seconds into it. 

What else can you think of, tell some stories.


Zombies…. Sheesh again?

There really has been hundreds of postings, movies, blogs, short stories, webisodes.  You name it its been zombified. Not wanting to be left out of the zombiefication here we go.  I love a good Zombie movie all the way back to Dawn of the Dead, which was the very first Zombie movie I ever saw.  Whats not to like? Blood, gore, missing lower jaws, it’s all good stuff. My Daughter has a poster in her room on common Zombie killing mistakes like not shooting the Zombie kids, they are just as deadly.  There have been books remaking the classics like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. My favorite zombie book right now is “Abraham Lincoln, Zombie Slayer”.  Zombie Comics, board games, stuffed toys Video games from the scary Left 4 Dead series to the funny like Plants Vs Zombies there are e Zombies in the Star Wars Universe now that’s how out of control it has become.  Zombie Sith Lord for the WIN!!!!.. I think not, that’s a bit to far even for me.

Whats next Zombie Barbie, comes with an assortment of rotted clothes. Zombie Barbie’s dilapidated Mansion and junker car sold separately? Brain optional, Zombie Ken?  Really it’s getting just a bit out of control.  Kinda like Zombies in general.  So I just looked around on the Net and not even joking, there really is Zombie Barbie stuff… I could cry.  First time I’ve ever seen a dressed up Barbie, both of my girls always had naked ones.  It still eludes me to this day on why people would buy them more Barbie’s, they all look the same naked. I bet if I go in the youngest room  she still has some. SO here is what I’m going to do with the kids this weekend, were going to have our own Zombie Barbie party will be great  fun.  So what do we need… Some paint. Some rotted old Barbie clothes, guess well go to yard sales, hmm perhaps a bit or glue to make the lumps, some knives from the GI Joes, maybe a chainsaw too from them.  Talking to a friend on Facebook while writing some of this she’s checking to see if she has any spare parts as well.  It’s nice to have friends who appreciate your humor so thanks Chrissy your awesome!  <— shameless friendship plug.  Also if there were a zombie apocalypse I would hope she was on my team against the Zombies she’s fairly diabolical and that is what you need during the Zombie Invasion.

Who has thoughts on Zombies?  Oh and if you make some Zombie Barbie’s, send me some pics I can always use a laugh.

Smokers… Time to retire?

 So I’ve been sick again, “deathly ill” is a phrase I used to hear as a kid in regards to the older family members I have a good idea of what they mean by that now.  I see people get sick, sniffles maybe a fever for a day or two then they feel better the worst is over, and in a few more days they are fine.  I, on the other hand get the plague, I can’t breathe, I cough constantly till I can feel my ribs creaking, my eyes water so much I can’t focus and wonder if they fell out,  If I stand I get dizzy the world spins.   I’m like this for a week at a minimum. Then about a week till I actually am back to normal.  Some of this has to do with my warranty being expired, I have some medical issues. I can’t change which parts of me are defective I can however retire from Smoking again. Retiring from smoking fixes a lot of problems for me,  lowering some numbers that are to high and raising some that are depressed. It’s hard as many of us know. I figured I’d share some thoughts about this with all of you, share my ideas and maybe read about some of yours.  So here are some things I have tried, thoughts I’ve had.  Mostly though I figure the more the merrier. so here we go some tips for you Smokers looking to Retire.

1. Don’t quit, Retire.  It puts less pressure on yourself.  If you cheat it just doesn’t seem as bad. Figure out what happened to cause you to backtrack and avoid that in the future, but go back to retirement as quick as possible. When you get the impulse to smoke say “no” even if only to yourself it helped me eventually the urges got quashed almost before I could think the word no!.

2. Don’t combine Retiring from smoking with other stuff like going on a diet, or changing  jobs try to stay unstressed. Especially don’t combine it with things Lion hunting or Velociraptor reconstruction. Oh and Diets? just say no to diets.

3. Brush, floss your teeth it sounds kinda silly.   To me however it always feels like there’s some nasty stuff coming out of the cells in my mouth and EWWWW!!!!! so this helps me.  I also tend to get some citrus fruit rather than gum it seems to help me more plus its healthy. I LOVE clementines,  they are portable and simple to peel. They make a nice distraction from smoking if you’re bored for some reason.  try peeling them as one piece and then rebuilding it. I once used a Clementine peel as a yo-yo for 20 minutes.

4. Stay away from other Smokers.  This is kinda tough but for a little while you really have to do this.  I’m usually good after day two with this since I think the smell we have is nasty, yes I know I smell like it too but you don’t notice when its you.

5. Get some regular exercise, do not overdo it your body isn’t ready for it.  If your going to join a gym or something with a trainer let them know you quit smoking recently.  If you’re gonna do it on your own just take a walk around the block or up and down the stairs.  You can do this also to distract yourself if you get an urge to smoke.

6. Get rid of all that cool smokers stuff.  Yes we all love that cool Zippo lighter  that sings the national anthem you got, or the ashtray you made yourself in shop class all those years ago but get rid of them. They aren’t helpful in any way.

7. Drink Juice and water, stay hydrated.  Doing this will help with the cravings and help keep any weight gain your worried about down.  Look up emotional hunger if you want to know more.

8.  Talk to your Doctor they will  help you there are a lot of ways they can support you let them. I’ve tried the medication it worked great for me.  Other people I know who used it had problems.  Partner with your Doc they want you to quit it makes their lives easier too.

9. Enlist the help of others.  Let people know what you’re doing.  For example I let my cigarette suppliers at the local 7-11 know I was retiring.  Khan and Ashley have been very supportive they wont sell cigarettes to me  they even threatened to deny me my coffee if I slip up.

10. Don’t give up.

Seems simple huh, and yet people quit smoking all the time and go right back to it.  I’ve done it so have friends of mine and family.  On the other side of it I know many people who quit with no help, just stopped.  I’m sure most people are in between the two extreme’s.  Barring a time machine and going back to when you started there isn’t much you can do but not give up.

Some other things I do I have a list of 5 reasons I keep in my wallet to remind me why I retired.  I save half of what I would have spent to get myself a nice treat as a reward for doing well.  It seems to me that even after we stop we all could start again so its a good idea to keep something to remind yourself very sharply on what caused you to finally stop smoking.  Me I use the medical bracelet from my hospital stay as a reminder.  It’s an ongoing battle but one we can win.

 Other Idea’s by all means comment. what worked for you what didn’t?

Sharks in town…..

I can hear the theme music now <  >.  Seems yesterday several sharks decided to pay a visit to the beautiful waterfront here in the Hampton’s.  I’m not sure why their being discriminated against, after all we let folks from all over come to our beaches, whats wrong with the sharks?  Hell I bet the sharks are nicer than some.  Well in the township of Quogue they were likely irritated about the sharks not having a parking sticker but other than that I just don’t know.  Beaches are closed since the first sightings in Cupsogue and from there all the way to Smith Point Park.

Nothing to see here, move along.

Apparently Police put helicopters in the air to track them <and make sure they didn’t park illegally>.  The Basking sharks came within 15 feet of the shore and in larger than normal groups.  Now here’s the weird part.  These sharks don’t eat people, they eat small fish and yummy things like that. Honestly no shark prefers Human, something about them being rancid from some kind of oil and just a bit scary with all the screaming that goes on during meals, According to Sharks Quint, Hooper, and Brody interview below.

“Their Rancid, and loud, it hurts my ears” Said Quint

              No Humans were eaten during this terrible ordeal. Three of the sharks were interviewed and explained how Humans always tasted rancid and made loud obnoxious noises when eaten.

Here’s the thing though the beaches are still closed the shark warning signs were still up.  The news reports are all telling you OHH NOO big scary shark. .  They report that there are claims they might have been attracted because of a dead seal found on the beach Wednesday  morning.  SCARY MAN EATING…. Wait, they eat small fish and plankton, they cruise close to shore which is why there called “Basking” Sharks. So why are the news people still reporting about dead seals and beach closings?  Makes ya wonder doesn’t it?  At the very least I gave ya the same info and mine was more entertaining.  So let this be a lesson to you…Sharks wont eat you if you are rancid and loud Quint said so during his interview.  Think I’ll go take some pictures tomorrow at the beach.  Hope I don’t get a ticket.

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