Things to avoid on Valentine’s Day

There are certain things you should avoid on Valentine’s day. This should be a simple enough topic… and yet… business’s are trying to trick you. For example on my nightly run for coffee I found this in the local convenience store.

Happy Valentines day love... Have a breath mint!
Happy Valentines day love… Have a breath mint!

This is without a doubt in my mind one of the absolute worst things you could buy “that special someone”. I can only imagine what the person receiving this charming little heart shaped tin of Altoids would be thinking. Although I suppose it could be something of a niche type product… chronic halitosis and love… I suppose we all have our little foibles. If I was given this as a gift I would be inserting the box into their mouth as I kicked their ass out the door.

Happy Valentines day... Your an amazingly wonderful partner... except for one thing...
Happy Valentines day… Your an amazingly wonderful partner… except for one thing…

LOL.. come on now… Dr. Ruth knows what she’s talking about… Happy Valentines day Lover, now.. go read this book and take notes… there will be a test and if you fail again… well lets just say you wont have to worry to much about an offensive gift next year. 🙂 Cross this off the list folks, and move on sheesh…

"Sweetheart I made us reservations at an amazing castle for Valentines day"
“Sweetheart I made us reservations at an amazing castle for Valentines day”

I’m telling you right now… you will not get laid taking anyone to White Castle for Valentines day, but you will sure as hell need the Altoids afterwards. Ok maybe some people… but.. you better have all your shots current. This might be fine if your name is Harold or Kumar… but I doubt it. Hmm ok or if you and the special someone are as high as a broken down space station.


Picking the wrong size can get you killed.

Another serious no no… I think this picture is fairly self explanatory… never ever get a woman clothes that are to big for them. Doing this on Valentines day will cause a second St Valentine’s Day Massacre. Chances are they will never find all the pieces to your corpse.


Now I know this is short, and it’s been a while since I put anything up on here… But, on the plus side of this if everything goes as it looks like it will be you will have quite a bit to read from me… by next Valentine’s day, Prolly sooner.



Happy Valentines day Everyone, Much Love to you all!








14 Comments on “Things to avoid on Valentine’s Day

  1. In my case that last poem reads:
    Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,
    but luckier still is the woman
    who is the last love of a woman!

    Happy Valentine’s day to you and yours and all couples today regardless of gender 🙂


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  13. Geesh, does everybody who makes a comment here have to be plugging something? I’d rather plug somebody. Uh-oh, this isn’t supposed to be g rated, is it? I enjoyed this post, but I wish it was better written, funnier and more imaginative. Other than that, it’s perfect except for the uninteresting examples and sparse use of clever or even colorful language. But, you know, it really is a great article even though I wish you had done a little research so you might have known what makes something funny and interesting before you wrote this. But no worries, that didn’t ruin the post. What did ruin it was your tone of condescension and the hints that you derive some kind of cruel enjoyment from the suffering of others. Everything else is fine except, well, oh forget it.


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