Big Bird today announced his intentions to become a third party candidate as a write in for President while he can not be eligible for a write in this year he wants to raise awareness and give people the option in 2016. Instructions can be found here.
Big Birds Unofficial Announcement!
Good evening. I am here to announce my intention to seek the countries blessing in becoming the President of the United States.
I’m sure that each of us has seen our country from a number of viewpoints depending on where we’ve lived and what we’ve done. For me it has been as a growing up on a quite street to be found in every town and in every home. Sesame Street.
I’ve seen America from the porch of my friends Bob and Susan. I learned manners and responsibility from Mr. Hooper who owned the Malt shop. As an actor, President of the local Muppet Union, and as a celebrity. I’ve lived in America where those who often had too little to eat outnumbered those who had enough. Where children are taken advantage of and misunderstood and where things that are good and wholesome are mocked to score points for reasons passing understanding.
To me our country is a living, breathing presence just like Sesame Street. Unimpressed by what others say, proud of its own success, generous, and yes, naive. Naive because while we do good works others seek to tear us down, both foreign and domestic.
Someone once said that the difference between an American and any other kind of person is that an American lives in anticipation of the future because he knows it will be a great place. Other people fear the future as just a repetition of past failures. There’s a lot of truth in that. If there is one thing we are sure of it is that history need not be relived; that nothing is impossible, and that man and bird is capable of improving his circumstances beyond what we are told is fact. Through PBS and the Children’s Television Workshop I have taught patience, manners and an overall sense of understanding to children in more than 120 countries.
There are those in our land today, however, who would have us believe that America and Sesame Street, like other great Countries and shows of the past, has reached the end of its usefulness that we are weak and should be reduced to just some footnote in history, an experiment gone bad or a reality television show.
Much of this talk has come from leaders who claim that our problems are too difficult to handle. We are supposed to meekly accept their failures as the most which humanly can be done. They tell us we must learn to live with less, and teach our children that their lives will be less full and prosperous than ours have been; that the America of the coming years will be a place where–because of our past excesses–it will be impossible to dream and make those dreams come true.
I don’t believe that. And, I don’t believe you do either. That is why I am seeking the presidency. I cannot and will not stand by and see this great country destroy itself. Our leaders attempt to blame their failures on circumstances beyond their control, on false estimates by unknown, unidentifiable experts who rewrite modern history in an attempt to convince us our Public Broadcast System, the result of thrift and hard work, is somehow selfish extravagance which we must renounce as we join in sharing scarcity. I don’t agree that our nation must resign itself to inevitable decline, yielding its proud position to other hands. I am totally unwilling to see this country fail in its obligation to itself and to its obligation to the children. Sesame Street has been all about Inclusion since 1966 a mixed cast a mixed crew a mixed audience. Everyone can relate to it and if Elected everyone will be able to relate to America as well. We are a melting pot of beliefs and ideas and the only wrong thinking is not thinking at all.
The crisis we face is not the result of any failure of the American spirit; it is failure of our leaders at all levels both State and Federal who allow history to pass them by as they try to decide what they do by polling and political analysts. Leadership is about Leading, not polling, not analyzing what people want to hear, but by telling people what they need to hear. If I am elected, I shall regard my election as proof that the people of the United States have decided to set a new agenda and have recognized that the human spirit thrives best when goals are set and progress can be measured in their achievement. Sesame Street embodies this we should take our lessons from them.
No problem that we face today can compare with the need to restore the health of the American economy and the strength of the American dollar. Double-digit inflation has robbed you and your family of the ability to plan. It has destroyed the confidence to buy and it threatens the very structure of family life itself as more and more people need multiple jobs to make ends meet. At the same time, the lack of real growth in the economy has introduced the justifiable fear in the minds of working men and women who are already overextended that soon there will be fewer jobs and no money to pay for even the necessities of life. And tragically as the cost of living keeps going up, the standard of living which has been our great pride keeps going down. Cutting must be done, budgets must be trimmed and excess spending removed. PBS isn’t the problem, congressional spending on frivolities is. Time wasted in careful study of the most simple matters is. Companies and people thinking they are better than others and should be treated differently is. Fair is fair we all should pay our share.
The key to restoring the health of the economy lies in cutting taxes. At the same time, we need to get the waste out of federal spending. This does not mean sacrificing essential services, nor do we need to destroy the system of benefits which flow to the poor, elderly, the sick and the handicapped. We have long since committed ourselves, as a people, to help those among us who cannot take care of themselves.
On the foreign front there will be severe pressures upon the United States and its allies. We can expect to be tested in ways calculated to try our patience, to confound our resolve and to erode our belief in ourselves. During a time when the Terrorists abound, we must never waiver in our commitment to our allies nor accept any negotiation which is not clearly in the national interest. We must judge carefully. Though we should leave no initiative untried in our pursuit of peace, we must be clear voiced in our resolve to resist any unpeaceful act wherever it may occur. We will not negotiate with Terrorists or those who support them.
Now let us work toward the goal of using the assets of this country, its resources, technology, and foodstuffs in the most efficient ways But there remains the greatness of our people, our capacity for dreaming up fantastic deeds and bringing them off to the surprise of an unbelieving world. When Washington’s men were freezing at Valley Forge, Tom Paine told his fellow Americans: “We have it in our power to begin the world over again,” we still have that power.
I believe this nation hungers for a spiritual revival; hungers to once again see honor placed above political expediency; to see government once again the protector of our liberties, not the distributor of gifts and privilege. Government should uphold and not undermine those institutions which are custodians of the very values upon which civilization is founded–religion, education and, above all, family. Government cannot be clergyman, teacher and patriot. It is our servant, beholden to us.
So let us begin anew my friends. Let America ring forth.
After the announcement we spoke with Big Bird. He spoke of possible cabinet appointments and the possibility of asking Oscar to be his VP. Tentatively it looks as though the Count will be in charge of banking reform and he is looking at placing Chuck Norris as Secretary of State, Saying “Chuck and I go way back he was on Sesame street too.”
As a matter of fact hundreds of people have been on Sesame Street including four First Ladies A Secretary General of the United Nations. Stephen Colbert, Conan O’brien, Katie Couric, Anderson Cooper, Larry King, Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters and Oprah Winfrey. I’m sure he expects their full support. Remember, “Big Heart, Big Ideas, Big Bird!”
This Announcement was brought to you by the Letter “F” and the number “8”. With a Special thanks to President Reagan’s 1980 speech writing staff.
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He’s got my vote! =)