As children we all have our share of monsters. The bogeyman in the basement, the ghoul in the attic, the creeper in the cubby. Lets not forget the monster in the closet, the clown under the bed and of course every creepy looking porcelain doll ever made. As we grow older it becomes sad for these terrors of our childhood to move on. This just begs the question where are they now?
Well it turns out our undercover team here tracked them all down. Turns out the bogeyman himself is doing very well. While very shy as most monsters are prone to be he also knew that his time as a basement dwelling creature couldn’t last forever so he went into the film industry. You may have seen him recently seen him in such blockbuster hits as, “The Creature from down below,” and “He is Risen.” This of course is only part of the story. He is also heavily involved in Habitat For Humanity. The only thing he wont work on is Basements, for obvious reasons. It’s his way of giving back to the community he terrorized for so long. He did let us on a little secret… Basement monsters actually have territories.. his was the United States and parts of Canada.
The Ghoul in the attic actually did very well for himself with the “Harry Potter,” franchise. Playing the part of… well himself really. He wasn’t a big deal in the world of scary creatures, mostly because of the fact that very few people ever really spend time in the attic. Sure he made some noises and banged things around but overall, most could be blamed on air in the pipes or even raccoons. Now though, hes on the fast track to stardom as a Ghoul in many films. He wouldn’t let us list the others wanting to rest upon his success in the Harry Potter movies.
The creeper of course is different all together. He moves around a bit from place to place inside the home… if there is a cubby available he prefers there… but. He can be found almost everywhere in a home. Jack of all trades, master of some. Now though he has moved on to other areas. He ghost writes for several famous authors when they want a more realistic take from the monsters perspective. Because of contractual obligations he couldn’t comment on what authors. Once again our research team comes to the rescue. our own Reporter Fae managed to get a partial list. Deen Koontz, Steven King, Annie Rice and of course Sinjin Hawk.
Closet monster, well he is a bit of an enigma. He never actually leave a home and has many different jobs he needs to perform. He is the one who removes the socks from the dryer, changes the times on the clocks. Drinks all but a drop from the last of the milk or OJ cartons and puts them back. Most of the frustrating small things that go wrong can be traced directly back to a closet monster… They have been referred to as Gremlins, which they find offensive since everyone knows, or should that gremlins only work on Aircraft.The clown though…. O.K. so the clown creeps me out.. He is always in the movies. He’s most famous, at least for my generation as the clown from Poltergeist. He was also the model for Pennywise and pretty much every Evil clown in every film. He is the standard. The insane clown posse used him as their model for most of their graphics. He is almost single handedly responsible for most clown phobias in the world.
The porcelain dolls are actually cousins of the Evil Clown. They have been around forever and some of them have grown very bitter over the difficulty in breaking away from the “Monster” classification. They really are not monsters and yet… they creep people out quite a bit, myself included. Their white faces, dead eye’s and fixed features that look like they have been chiseled from marble frighten me. The dolls have actually unionized now as the PUD Porcelain union of the Dolls. It still hasn’t helped them much with the studios though since they are being treated as one entity rather then many.
Look for most of these prior monster anywhere weird things are sold!
Real life. From a real mom. Raising real little people.
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