Friends of mine have recently pointed some things out to me, both big and small, all of which are important. I’m certain they would be impressed that they have finally gotten it though my thicker than average skull. They seem surprised that it took this long, and yet, they say I have a thick skull so why be surprised at all. My point being I’m dimwitted and slow about certain things. Things that would make a myopic spinster weep. Not that I consider myself either of those, but I haven’t slept in 20 hours, so I’m a bit slap happy. Mostly I just liked the way that description sounded in my head.
I played a game of, “Please point out my flaws,” with one of my friends. You play like this. You lay out everything wrong with yourself, and then they add to it. It seems silly and maybe even painful. The kind of thing that could only ever possibly RUIN a friendship. It didn’t though since she pretty much nailed any that I missed and after all she started it. What it turned out to be though was cathartic, we recognized what was wrong and then accepted it. Now we can deal with it. Which is rather nice. This was followed up with a nice rousing game of “OK, please stop beating me, tell me some good stuff.” Which was nice too since some of it, I never thought of as a good thing about myself.
Then there was what to me was an offhand conversation with a new friend. I said something that had a rather huge impact, even though I didn’t know it at the time. I should say a large positive impact. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was cruel to humans. It was something I considered an obvious truth, and said with no thought to the positive impact it could have. To me, it was simply a fact, but to my friend, it was a truly eye opening epiphany.
I tell you this for a simple reason really. Most things we hear about the power of words are always put out there in the negative. We hear and read all the time about how words can hurt. It’s been a long time since the “Sticks and Stones” days of my youth, and possibly yours as well. Take some time to tell people both the good and the bad. Do it with kindness and empathy. Be honest and forthright, and great things will happen.
Sometimes it’s necessary for someone who isn’t you, who hasn’t been kicking things around in their own head for months or years, to give you a new perspective. In some cases, it will be uncomfortable, in others not. No matter what though it will be helpful.
Real life. From a real mom. Raising real little people.
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