Many know I have been sick. For the last two plus years my medications have been canceling each other out. Instead of getting better I had been getting sicker. I have a new doctor and new medication now and things are going well. New meds have taken effect now though and my brain has gone from not working, being forgetful and slow witted to overworking. It made it very difficult to write anything thoughts would run rampant and I couldn’t focus down on anything. I couldn’t type fast enough to keep up. So fortunately I’m pretty even now I did manage to make some notes. The nest way I can describe it is having ADHD that’s been given a 12-pack of Jolt and some NoDoz.
I think I looked like this, other people say no.
Even if I didn’t actually look like that I sure felt like it. On the positive side, I feel soooo much better now. On the negatives, well it’s not fun to come out of what’s basically a fog and notice all kids of things you thought were ok that really aren’t. Things were simpler before… of course I wouldn’t trade the back but still. It is frustrating! Here’s a picture, I like that gives a good example of what I mean… It’s very pretty there… but you can’t see much.
Now though, or recently it has been much harder to adapt back. Suddenly, I see everything all at once. It’s very distracting, even if it is getting better as I adapt. I keep telling myself you can hang from your thumbs for three days if you have to. It’s not helping.
I just wanted you all to understand a bit. I’ll be writing again now. It might be rambling and all over for another few weeks but after that it should calm down to my normal level of disjointed phrasing and scattered points.
"Whatever you do, don´t stop writing, write only for yourself if that´s what you want". It might sound as nothing, but in a time in which I doubted so much about myself, it meant the world for me.
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