The top ten things you can do in an elevator, pushing all the buttons and laughing maniacally won’t be on this list. Back long ago when I had a BBS <1992-1998> Things like this list circulated all over the place. Sometimes we added to it. The ones I am listing here are taken from those lists. The difference being this is what my friends and I thought of. As with all things pre-internet no one can really take credit. So here without further ado. The top ten things you can do on an Elevator.
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. <this one no longer recommended for obvious reasons>
When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they open again.”
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, “I have new socks on”.
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you “Admiral”.
Get on the elevator and begin singing and dancing to “Can’t touch this.”
Whenever someone new gets on ask them if they have any candy. If they offer you some tell them you can’t accept candy from strangers. Then see rule #5.
Every time someone new gets on ask them to push the button for one level higher then listed, laugh maniacally afterwards.
Have a full blown argument with yourself in the elevator alternate your voice and change your orientation to play both sides.
Peer into your cupped hands and mutter to them now and them, offer to let the other passengers see for a quarter.
Real life. From a real mom. Raising real little people.
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