Gnomes II — Zombie Assault.

Posted on December 9, 2011 by Outside Perception

It seems my fears of the gnomes has taken on a whole new twist. Somehow, the evil little creatures have managed to become infected with the Zombie plague. This just proves I was right about their sinister aspects. Obviously, nothing that wasn’t already alive to begin with could become undead.

So to those of you who were making fun of my previous posting on the Gnomes being evil and trying to kill me, I say “HAH!” Look at these pictures. That poor Flamingo has been eviscerated and the Gnomes are feeding on it. Fortunately they still follow normal gnomish doctrine in regards to being caught moving so there is no fear of my being bitten by them and infected.

Of course, some of the Gnomes are defending themselves, and my neighbor’s yard has turned into something of a battle ground. Just looking at the picture below should give you some feeling for just how serious a threat this new gnomish threat can be. Gnomes taking up arms against their fellows is very serious!

These are not even the most disturbing evidence of this new threat. Consider, these gnomes could infect other statuary. Small peeing baby’s in ponds would be no match, nor would those cute little frogs or… Alligator’s. I think the most disturbing thing would be to see those happy little sparkle faeries completely infected by this disease. Imagine a flying Zombie Faerie, wilted wings and sharp needle teeth coming at you with a bag of Zombified Pixie dust. Some things just can’t be reckoned with.

These two and their gnome child managed to flee into my yard before being infected. I spoke with them at length and offered them a Lincoln log house they could defend from an assault. I also gave them an entire other canister of Lincoln logs to help build barricades. Now they didn’t answer me of course, gnomes never do. They still pretend that they aren’t alive, but we all know better don’t we. In return for asylum in my yard they are responsible for patrolling my property line against incursions from the neighbors Gnomes.

So far, so good. The only other evidence I have found of further incursions came just a day ago. Apparently, when the gnomes shown to the left escaped they didn’t finish off one of the Zombie Gnomes that was following. (See Below)

I killed it using a shovel. So remember. I was right Gnomes are alive… at least for now… until they are infected. I’m getting myself a few more shovels.

I found these pictures which has inspired me to do a part 2 to the Gnome story. Go here to see them and maybe even order them they are for sale and I laughed my ass off when I saw them. If you have not seen the first story then see related articles below.