So I’ve been moody again today and cranky, could be sleep deprived could be many of things. I tend to blame the tumor. I don’t think about it often I’m to busy living with it and adapting to it to really think about it. I want it gone, Doc says nope. Doc also said it wouldn’t help if it were gone anyway since the damage is done. So long as it doesn’t get any bigger they just let it be. Check out what it messes with.
Big list huh. All because the stupid tumor is keeping my body from making the hormones it needs to make. The replacement stuff sucks. Its messy in one form also slimy sticky it has to be applied to the shoulders only and left on constantly. The patches they make irritate the skin and leave oval shaped burn marks, they hurt. Picture having oval sunburns that move daily and causes the skin to slough off like a sunburn blister, great side effect huh Doc said i was exaggerating til he saw it. Lucky me I feel blessed it can only be placed on shoulders thighs and upper arm so that makes it even better sometimes it heals all the way before the next patch sometimes not. Last but not least I can get shots, which, will make me pass out. Needles and me don’t go well together, also its inconsistent in that form since they are two weeks apart.
Now add in the broken ass Thyroid and it makes for good times let me tell you. Weight gain because I can’t really exercise affects the possibility of Diabetes. Then there is the ever present problem that some of what I need to do for the tumor effects other things negatively, very negatively to the point that I was taken off all the Medication that made me feel right for three months for fear of having a stroke. So I had to start all over again. I don’t want to anymore, Its a giant circle of SUCK but we live with what we have to right? Right.
"Whatever you do, don´t stop writing, write only for yourself if that´s what you want". It might sound as nothing, but in a time in which I doubted so much about myself, it meant the world for me.
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