Outside Perception
Amin n'rangwa edanea
Pituitary Tumors, Specifically mine.
So I’ve been moody again today and cranky, could be sleep deprived could be many of things. I tend to blame the tumor. I don’t think about it often I’m to busy living with it and adapting to it to really think about it. I want it gone, Doc says nope. Doc also said it wouldn’t help if it were gone anyway since the damage is done. So long as it doesn’t get any bigger they just let it be. Check out what it messes with.
- Headaches – I have them every single day, comes with blurred and sometimes hazed over tunnel vision and eye pain.
- Depression – Hard not to be I guess, I think I’m doing fairly well with it, If you want a different answer ask someone else.
- Mood/Emotion Swings – So I have been told, I’ve noticed it to, sometimes I can catch it and think through it though, sometimes not.
- Anger – Oh yes, indeed, angry often again though I can tell between irrationally and not most days so i just keep away from people.
- Loss of Memory – The loss isn’t the worst, its knowing I knew it and don’t now. That pisses me off the most, this one is the worst for me.
- Loss of Sleep – I don’t sleep well. I barely sleep at all at least not restful sleep.
- Sexual Dysfunction – On the plus side I have no desire anyway, maybe Ill be a priest no or a Monk, The Brotherhood Of Pituitary Sadness.
- Lethargy – Oh yes because I’m constantly exhausted by doing very little like umm breathing.
- Weakness in Limbs – Ya see Lethargy, stairs can be a bitch now it doesn’t take much and I’m shot.
- High Blood Pressure – Under control at least for now some lifestyle changes were needed.
- Unusual Hair Growth -Well I didn’t get this one at least unless you count the pacman board on my back.
- Eating Disorders
- Anorexia – Nope
- Obesity – Was Getting there, kinda hard to exercise when you get tired doing anything but I have lost weight with smarter eating
- Bulimia – nope
- Weight Gain – See fat bastard, I mean Obesity.
- Diabetes – Runs on mothers side of the family so now I have a twofer, isn’t that great.
- Infertility – Three kids already so I don’t care about this one.
- Impotence – Hormone therapy is a wonder now if only the medication didn’t leave chemical burns. Damn! I love side effects.
- Irregular Menses – I’m really glad I didn’t suddenly develop this one.
- Lactating – Or this one either…
Big list huh. All because the stupid tumor is keeping my body from making the hormones it needs to make. The replacement stuff sucks. Its messy in one form also slimy sticky it has to be applied to the shoulders only and left on constantly. The patches they make irritate the skin and leave oval shaped burn marks, they hurt. Picture having oval sunburns that move daily and causes the skin to slough off like a sunburn blister, great side effect huh Doc said i was exaggerating til he saw it. Lucky me I feel blessed it can only be placed on shoulders thighs and upper arm so that makes it even better sometimes it heals all the way before the next patch sometimes not. Last but not least I can get shots, which, will make me pass out. Needles and me don’t go well together, also its inconsistent in that form since they are two weeks apart.
Now add in the broken ass Thyroid and it makes for good times let me tell you. Weight gain because I can’t really exercise affects the possibility of Diabetes. Then there is the ever present problem that some of what I need to do for the tumor effects other things negatively, very negatively to the point that I was taken off all the Medication that made me feel right for three months for fear of having a stroke. So I had to start all over again. I don’t want to anymore, Its a giant circle of SUCK but we live with what we have to right? Right.
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Outside Perception 
Right on!
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